Fulfilling Our Vows ...
A secret service agent meets a bonnie lass in an Irish pub in D.C. and asks her to marry him, at Donald Trump’s Albemarle Estate near Charlottesville, on Halloween. In a manicured garden by a Koi pond, Reverend Claire awaits the couple at the altar. Her sweet, measured tones invite them to look around the garden, and into the lens of the camera Zooming their vows to people who love them, there in spirit.
Suddenly, a Fox news broadcast blares through the garden, damning Democrats. The couple turns toward the hills for a blessing from Reverend Claire, ignoring the broadcast.
I, the second photographer, tasked by the secret service agent with keeping the Zoom camera aimed at his bride, move the camera around by the Koi pond, working to steady the shaky tripod. Backing up to find steady footing for the tripod, standing it straight as the couple kiss, I fall into the pond, holding a Canon 5D camera and 70-200 L Series lens aloft for dear life.
Sean Connery has just died, on the Day of the Dead. Trump’s place feels like Goldfinger’s estate.
“I get immersed in my work,” I say to the astonished couple, trying to sound like Bond, James Bond.
Reverend Claire signs and presents the marriage certificate. The couple’s family and friends got to see them seal their vows with a kiss, across the digital miles, the Fox News commentators have piped down and the camera and lens are saved from the Koi pond, though the cell phone’s a goner.
The secret service agent stands by his bride.
“I just did what you would have done,” I say.
He nods gravely.
Of course we know he’d have done a whole lot more.